I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
