your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
