When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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