and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Randomize
