he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
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