I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
