Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
the day after is always just damage control
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
