and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize