How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
