I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I'm too high and old for this...
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
