we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
