It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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