Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
