I think I died a long time ago.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
