Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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