I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Randomize
