what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Ketchup is God's man juice
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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