Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
