Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
