help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
