At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
