he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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