whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
