He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
