Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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