dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
