my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
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