she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
