I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
