just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
