i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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