oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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