can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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