3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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