Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I lost the right to judge tonight
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize