CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
two words: eviction party
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
