Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Randomize
