And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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