Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
