i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
