Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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