just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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