She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize