I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
