is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
You smell like stripper and shame
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
