We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Randomize
