that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
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