I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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