I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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