guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
