Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
