sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
this boner is exhausting
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
my poor anus
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
