i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
People with herpes should wear stickers.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Randomize
