We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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