You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
