I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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