Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
