Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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