I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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