Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
