jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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