yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
