gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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